UPDATE ON TTC 2024
Hello semua, sudah lama nggak update terkait dengan program hamil. Di tahun 2024, apakah aku dan suami masih program hamil alias trying to conceive? And the answer is yes. Saat ini kami masuk siklus ke-empat dari 6 siklus yang direkomendasikan oleh dr. Yuslam, masih kontrol ke rumah sakit sebulan dua kali, dan sejauh ini sudah banyak perkembangan.
Update di cycle 3 kemarin adalah program dengan resep obat yang sama, yakni glucopag 1500 mg/hari + vitamin D3 5000 iu, Ovacare, Seloxy, dan tambahan obat penyubur nya Femara. Pas kontrol terkahir itu, dokternya sempet bilang dan ngasih secercah harapan bahwa ada kemungkinan bisa hamil karena perkembangan sel telurnya bagus, walaupun masih belum sesuai dengan target normal. Little did I know, I put my hopes low, aku takut kecewa. Walaupun ada juga lah berharap it might be true, tapi belum jodoh.
Tengah bulan January, aku harusnya minum obat pencetus haid, tapi ternyata tiba-tiba haid sendiri. Buat aku yang selama program selalu haid karena dicekokin obat, bisa haid sendiri itu sebuah milestone yang perlu aku rayakan dan jujur jadi agak ngerasa berharap lebih di siklus ini. I already started feeling overwhelmed with the situation, di minggu ini yang jadwalnya kontrol sama dokternya tapi pak dokter lagi libur praktek, my mind wanders everywhere.
Banyak temen-temen atau kenalan yang suka cerita, si fulan dan fulanah malah sukses hamil setelah menyerah dengan program hamil yang sudah berjalan bertahun-tahun, si fulan dan si fulanah sudah ikhlas dengan takdir Allah SWT terkait dengan momongan. I always tried to make sense of it, believing that our duty is to give our best effort and leave the rest to God, surrendering the outcomes to the divine. However, a question lingers in my mind – am I genuinely embracing acceptance, or am I merely feigning it in the hope that God will take pity on us and grant our desires? Is there an element of manipulation in my actions? This isn't sarcasm; it's a genuine concern that has crossed my mind.
In a way, Personally, I've taken this time, while it's just the two of us, to relish the moments we share. Perhaps we aren't ready, despite thinking we are more than prepared most of the time. (Well, sometime arrogance can kick in tiny details *wink). Maybe it's simply just not the time to meet them yet. Semoga beneran bisa ikhlas dengan hasil yang direncanakan semesta.
Beberapa waktu lalu, aku juga kepikiran pas beres-beres rumah (which I find somewhat therapeutic, allowing me to think more clearly), I pondered the societal pressures in Indonesia regarding the timelines for marriage and becoming a first-time mother. Society often rushes us into these decisions, and I wonder how many of us actually take a moment to sit, to reflect and to ask ourselves, "Do I genuinely want this, what would my future lay out be, and am I ready to be a constant support for this little one?"
My idea was... the Benefit of being a Mother in 30s.
Setting aside health concerns, as I'm not an expert in the field, and there are numerous articles available on addressing these issues appropriately. While it may seem like I'm trying to find a silver lining in my yearning for children, but I think there is no harm to discuss this topic anyhow.
- Emotional Maturity and Stability
IMHO, yang paling berasa adalah emotional maturity. By this point, many of us have had the opportunity to pursue our passions, build careers, and travel the winding roads of self-discovery (the ones that filled with sweat and tears). Armed with a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. I see myself in early twenties is just as an extension of teenager with more resources, focused on gaining life experiences and I am so glad I did not settle in my early twenties.
In my 30s, I've come to realize that emotional maturity is a gift that ripens with time. Unlike the impulsive decisions of my younger years, this decade has allowed me to approach motherhood with a stable and grounded mindset. Aku sendiri juga ngerasain bagaimana mengatur banyak hal dalam hidup yang serba berpacu tanpa beban. The ability to navigate the emotional rollercoaster that parenting entails becomes more profound, fostering a healthier and more resilient family dynamic. - Established Self-Identity
One of the beautiful aspects of being a mother in our 30s is the solid foundation of self-identity. I know what I like, dislike, my priorities, I can say no to things that does not add up. By this age, many of us also have embarked on personal and professional journeys, allowing us to carve out our individual paths. As a result, entering motherhood doesn't mean losing oneself; instead, it becomes an extension of the multifaceted person we have become, hopefully. - Financial Preparedness
Let's talk about practicality for a moment. Many individuals in their 30s find themselves in a more stable financial footing compared to their younger selves. Having a secure financial foundation provides a sense of security and allows us to provide the best for our child without the immediate financial struggles that may come with starting a family earlier. This financial preparedness offers peace of mind and allows for a more enjoyable parenting experience (and lower the tension with spouse, jangan lupa 70% reason why people divorce is because of financial issues) - Supportive Partner
In many cases, entering motherhood in your 30s means doing so with a partner who has also had time to mature and establish themselves. And, if you happened to be married your loved one from twenties, then you both managed to get through thick and thin together. This shared foundation strengthens your partnership and enhances your ability to navigate the challenges of parenting as a team. My personal takeaways, healthy relationship between the parents is the key for healthy family relationship. We are putting our best effort to break the cycle of dysfunctional family in the society.
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